Take the Relationship Test: Great Questions Lead to Healthly Relationships

Life is really all about relationships. Whether it’s our relationship with God, family, friends, with believers and unbelievers – people we do life with at work, home, or school; I think we would all agree that relationships are the most important aspect of our entire lives.

But let’s face it, life gets so full and we all get so busy that we tend to neglect the one thing that matters most.

As I was thinking about this today something came to mind that I’ve never considered. Every April we do an exercise that forces us to evaluate our finances for the last 12 months. It’s called April 15- tax time! Like you, I’m getting various pieces of mail that I put in a folder to help me prepare to do my taxes… I’m rummaging through my drawers and envelopes to find receipts so I can clearly assess what I’ve spent, where I spent it, and how much I’m going to owe. With that in mind, can you imagine what it would be like to do a relational assessment? I’m serious, what would it do in our hearts and lives if we did an inventory in our relationships just like we do in our money?

I started thinking about it out loud and I’ve put it in a form of a few questions that I think may be of help to you and to me as we consider this process.

Ask yourself these questions as a way to do an assessment of your most important relationships for the past 12 months:

Relationship with God - 
    - Am I surrendered? Am I experiencing His presence? 
    - Am I loving Him more deeply? Am I enjoying Him more fully? 
    - Are there any barriers? Do I sense His pleasure? 
    - Am I motivated to meet with Him? Am I practicing His presence throughout the day?

Relationship with Family –
    - As a husband, am I loving my wife the way Christ loves the Church? 
    - As a wife, am I respecting my husband in a way that honors and encourages him?
    - Are we making time for one another and our family?
    - As a dad, am I leading my family spiritually?
    - As a mother, am I nurturing and encouraging my children’s relationship with one another?
    - As child/student, am I honoring my parents?
    - As an adult child, am I honoring my elderly parents? 
    - Am I communicating with my family regularly? Do I pray for my family members and encourage them?

Relationship with my Friends -
    - As a friend, do I love at all times and am I the kind of person who is born to help another person through adversity? (Proverbs 17:17)
    - Am I sharpening and helping my friend’s growth in Christ?
    - Am I speaking the truth in love? Am I critical or encouraging?
    - Am I taking time out to nurture relationships and dig deep wells of relationships in the midst of busy work and life schedules?
    - Am I being honest with what’s really going on inside of me?
    - Am I a good roommate? Do I communicate honestly and from the heart on a regular basis with those I call friends? 
    - Am I looking for what I give in relationships or only what I can get?

Relationship with Myself -
    - Am I taking time for me? 
    - Am I stewarding well my physical body?  Am I getting enough sleep, eating the right food, and exercising?
    - Am I cultivating the intellectual side of my life? 
    - Am I living an unhurried life?
    - Am I coming to accept God’s unconditional love and understanding of me when I fail?
    - Am I learning to set clear boundaries for those people who have unrealistic expectations for my life?
    - Have I discovered my primary spiritual gift and know clearly my strengths and weaknesses?

Well, I think that’s enough for now. You don’t have to answer all these questions. You may only want to take one section at a time and just think it over. These questions might be good to talk over with a friend, a roommate, someone in your bible study, with your spouse over coffee, or do around the kitchen table the next few weeks with your family.

Remember to ask these questions with a grace-orientation, and realize that God understands where you’re at. God’s purpose is not condemnation but to convict where necessary to inspire and motivate you to focus your life on what really matters.

As I mentioned above, life gets so full and we all get so busy that we tend to neglect the one thing that matters most- RELATIONSHIPS!!!

So take time this week with your closest friend, spouse, God, and family members to get an accurate view of where your most important relationships are. And if you seriously take time to ask the hard questions and share honestly, you just might be amazed with the end product… deeper relationships and greater intimacy with those you love most!

Keep Pressin’ Ahead-

Comments

[Roommates]

Nice info a lot to think about thanks for this :-) I am just about to forward it on to friends that will be interested in it too.

[Jonathan]

Chip,
I just started listening on a regular basis to your radio program. I've also started checking out your web resources to really start growing as a Christian. I've been a serious Christian for about two years. Before I was hopelessly lost and unrepentant. Thanks for your deep, brimming with grace and truth, messages. What I really wanted to say was how your reflections bring out my relational difficulties. How selfish and threatened I am in my relationships. You allow me to be a better person. Thanks so much for your help.

[Per]

Chip i truly appreciate the wonderful content you have on your web. I'd like to purchase one of the series, however as I'm located overseas, can I just download them instantly instead having physical CDs being shipped over?

[Lily Lee]

How would you summarize the R12 series in a few sentences? i.e. If someone ask you for a profile of a disciple of Christ, what would you say in a nutshell?

[Lee Tomlin]

Chip, thank you for your ministry and your faithfulness. I am a youth pastor in Florida and your ministry has been a constant encouragement to me. I am so thankful for your book: "Good to Great in God's Eyes" and I especially enjoyed when you preached through it last June. Keep up the good work! You are an encouragement!