Finding Hope When You've Been Betrayed

The telephone felt attached to my ear. What I had just heard had left me in a state of shock and disbelief. My arm muscles seemed frozen, unable to put down the phone, as I tried to absorb the words and their meaning. A trusted, loyal, longtime friend had told another friend things about me that were not only untrue, but devastating. Why? What was behind this? How could this be? The anger mounted in my heart as the blood rushed through my veins.

For the next two days, I didn’t sleep much at all, and had no idea what to do, or where to go. Betrayal is one of the most painful and difficult things we will ever experience in this life. Jesus understood the pain and wounds of betrayal; and God is ready to meet us when that trusted someone in your life becomes an instrument of pain instead of a positive support. Of all the troubles I’ve known, this has been one of the most difficult for me to handle. The following passages are where I turn to get God’s perspective on betrayal, and work through the issues of forgiveness, and release.

Psalm 116:6-8
The LORD protects the simplehearted; when I was
in great need, he saved me. Be at rest once more,
O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you. For
you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death,
my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling,
   

Romans 12:17-21
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary:
   "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; 
    if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
    In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

1 Peter 2:20-21
But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.    

 

          More passage to meditate on when you've been betrayed:

• Proverbs 16:7
• Psalm 34:17-20, 22
• Psalm 34:17-22
• Psalm 35:11-24

A Prayer for When You’ve Been Betrayed
“Dear God, help me to realize that people will be people, and that fallen people, even those I trust, will sometimes hurt me. Give me the grace to remember that it’s a fallen world, and that hanging on to my anger and bitterness and resentment will only destroy me, and bring a barrier between me and You. Grant me the grace right now to “let go” of my hurt, and understand that You know what I am feeling, because You were betrayed. I claim the words of Jesus, that “wisdom will be vindicated by its children,” and that You, Lord, will have the final balance of justice. I entrust my reputation and what other people think of me or may have been falsely led to believe about me, to You. I thank You that I am in good hands. You are the God of truth.”

Keep Pressin’ Ahead!

Chip

Comments

[juan]

Chip,

Good morning, I have had a relationship with a 48 year old woman, for 2 years, I'm 30 years old and I was betrayed for her I found out that she was merried with a very sick men, and also have a daughter from a different men, This monday morning I was looking for help because I still in shock, Thank you for your prayer I found it online and It really helped me to heal my heart, On friday night something inside of me was telling me to go to a place that i was supposed to be on the next day, what was my surprise when I drove by a hotel I spot her car on the parking lot and for some reason I approach to the vehicle and it was hers, so inmediately I walked toward the reception of the hotel and what a surprise she was registered at that place, I waited on the parking lot until they come out next morning, and it was very painful what I was seing, so when I read this morning your prayer I have a lot of release from God to make me away from that person.

Thank you for your prayer.

[Friend of a Sex Addict]

I can certainly understand the words from the bitter wife. Truth is we can't trust insanity, and when our loved one's choose to continue the behaviors that broke the trust to begin with, it can be very destructive and painful. We can't understand how anyone could be so deceptive and claim to be a Christian in the same breath. God help them, and God help us, to restore the peace in our hearts only you are capable of. Help us to know, even when our loved ones make unhealthy choices for thier lives, we can be whole again. Have mercy Lord, on your children and give us the grace we are so desparately in need of. Lord change the hearts of those in the dark. In Jesus Name.

[bitter wife]

Once again, God speaks directly to my heart when I needed to hear it the most. THANK YOU, Chip.

I found out about my husband's "double life" 4 years ago and the enemy has enjoyed watching all that has tranformed since then. Our family is still together, but only because of God's hand.

How do you forgive when the person sees no wrong in what they have done because they have done it again and again? And the lies don't stop? I can forgive when there is accountability because in my thought-process, if you are accountable, you're less likely to do it again. If you continue to hide things, lie about it, and even choose to laugh at me when I'm crying, there is no remorse so I'm setting myself up to get hurt all over again, as I have numourous times.

I can forgive, but honestly, my husband expects my forgiveness and doesn't do anything to earn that trust back that he tore down.

Thanks for this prayer... you're the best!

[Tom Britton]

Thanks Chip! Just went through a very hard divorce. I never thought someone who said "I love you" could betray you. I had all, family,money,home,etc taken away. I have been left with nothing. God has made Himself known to me in very special ways. In my heart is great joy knowing and living for such a wonderful savior. Through your ministry God has helped me deal with this time in my life.
Tom

[Vicci Bowen]

Thanks Chip, I listen to you often and knew I could trust what God says through you. What do you do when you have been betrayed by a Christian 29yr old son? I trust God but am anxious to get on with life so I can spend time with him, his wife, and my beautiful 2 year old grand-daughter. I don't want to miss out on her growing up and right now they only are available to let me see her for 1 hour per month and they live in the same small town..Does God want me to just wait(its already been 1 year since the betrayal). Or does He want me to try approaching them humbly and with forgiveness in my heart and try to get a relationship going again? What do you think? Thanks so much for your radio program and ever comforting voice.
In Jesus and for Jesus!